The End Of My Old Life

Maxeen Kim Photography, Courage and Curls, The End Of My Old Life, Personal Musings

whiteI had run away… Literally. I had got on a plane and I now found myself in Scotland. Or, more specifically, Edinburgh. I was sat in a chair in the corner of Starbucks on Princes Street, with a view through the window of the castle high up on the hill in front of me, but what was I doing? Staring into my coffee cup…

The life I had wanted and the one I was living were so vastly different. So completely night and day. The worst part was I had no idea how I had got here or how to fix it. Could it even be fixed?

It’s funny how sometimes things come to you that slowly light the way. Little whispers that awaken your heart again. Reminding you of the fundamental truth that there is always possibility in life. This whisper came to me in the form of a quote.

I had been wondering around Edinburgh’s little cobbled streets when I discovered a bookshop. I love books. I love the smell of the new pages and the fact that you can actually hold them – especially in a world filled with so many online products. I had been paging through a particularly pretty book filled with quotes when I saw it… Right there in black and white…

I made my way to the Starbucks with the quote replaying in my head over and over again. I had been strong for so long… I had fought to make everything work. I was now staring down my twenty seventh birthday and I felt tired, beaten, broken – a shadow of the person I once was and a million miles from the one I wanted to be. I had been strong, but was I strong enough to let go?

It took me a long time to drink my coffee but as I swallowed the last sip and put my cup down but heart quietly whispered, ‘Enough is enough.’ I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it. I just knew I had to. I was going to start over. I was going to jump, hold my breath and wait for the universe to catch me.

And that was how my crazy, beautiful journey to the life I wanted began. It took me another 2 months to build up the courage to walk away from where I was.  It took me a further 6 months to organise everything so I could leave to travel Europe. The journey to getting on the plane seemed like a really long one. It was painful, I was stretched to a point I didn’t know I could stretch to but in the end, it put me on the path to something so much better.

The truth is, it may be a painful end… but sometimes it’s also the start of the most beautiful new beginning.

One thought on “The End Of My Old Life

  1. a time of discovery, you are so courageous and I love your determination and passion for life. Good luck with this next chapter of your wonderful story

    all my love

    xxx

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